I'm not your stepping stone.

I'm not your stepping stone. These are words made famous by the Sex Pistols. Well, lately I could be the spokesperson for this song. I can never say "No" or "This is what I want". I've always worked around other people's schedules, worked during my vacations, worked on my days off, came in early/stayed late, shopped where the other person wanted, ate where the other person wanted, wore what other people told me to wear, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love to make people happy, but there comes a time where I have to say, "what about my happiness". I have to learn to put myself first more often. I have to learn I can never be truly happy with others unless I am first happy within myself.

I compromise so much of my happiness b.c I think in the end, I will be rewarded or something. I dont quite think that is true. Sure, it looks good on my part, but it's only giving me headache after heartache. I will do anything for anyone at any point in time, but sometimes it is out of my own personal happiness. I think people have taken advantage of that and essentially began using me.

For as long as I can remember, I always "go with the flow." Ladies, you know the scene in "Runaway Bride" with Julia Roberts...where she is eating eggs and always eats the eggs her fiance eats? Well, in a way..that is me. I always want what others want or at least I chose that road.

Starting today I am going to do what I want. I am going to speak my mind and stand up for myself. I am going to say "No" when I don't want to do something. Im going to eat the eggs I like! I am going to voice my opinion, otherwise I will always slip through the cracks. I am not going to be a stepping stone, a doormat, or a fly on the wall. I am going to be me. I am going to do what makes me happy. I owe it to myself.

On to the total pursuit of happiness. Goodnight all.