Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Now what?

Today, I signed up for my last 4 classes till graduation. That light at the end of the tunnel is nearing closer and closer. A little too close I think. I can't believe it. After sharing the good news with my mom, she was happy but questioned, "Then what?" A very happy moment turned into a "uh oh" moment. She's right. It's time to start focusing on living the rest of my life.

I always set a goal that once I graduate, I would focus on marriage and starting a family. Graduation is less than 8 months away. *jaw drops* Wow. That is so crazy. Then it will be time to focus on work and my home life. Things just may work out. At least I'm hoping & praying they will.

It's been a crazy year thus far. But maybe it's God way of preparing me for a crazy life that is up ahead. I am so happy to be done with school and graduate- yet so scared to begin "the rest of my life." I shouldn't be scared. I've just waited so long to make sure everything will be perfect. But is anything really entirely perfect? I'm going to focus on these last few classes & get those degrees. And take it one step at a time.

The Best is Truly Yet To Come..and it's coming faster than I thought. :)

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly...

Can't believe I haven't updated this since June. So much has been happening. First off, we moved into a house in October- I love it. We have so much space. We have our own yard, 2 bedrooms, a garage..just so much space. We love it! Secondly, I finished another semester with 2 A's & 2 B's. Quite an accomplishment especially for how busy I've been in the past few months. Things at work have calmed down. Josh & I are the same ol'- which is good in my book. :)

Unfortunately along with all the good updates, come some bad. In October- my uncle Ray found out he had lung cancer & had to get half his lobe removed- he's stage 1. 2 weeks after this- my other uncle Steve found out he has cancer, but his is much worse-stage 4. It's already in his lungs, brain, and bones. He fell at home & broke his femur. I deal with cancer patients every day in my office and for some reason- I never thought I'd see my own family members in there. Its tough. My family has relied on me to answer their questions, check on them, let them know what to expect,etc. I've been trying my best to help & comfort everyone. But it's hard b.c I'm trying to be the strong one. When inside- I'm falling apart.

I also found out one of my lab results have come back irregular & now I need to have some things checked out further. With all the cancer floating around in my family & what I see on a daily basis, of course, I think the worst. All of this has happened in a few short months. I'm trying my best to remain the strong one. That's always been my job. I pretend that I'm fine & strong, but when I get alone- I just fall to pieces. I've got such a great support system, Josh is amazing. He is so great about helping me see the bright side. I have tons of family & friends who are all praying for myself & my family. It's been a rough end of the year, but I think we'll get through it all somehow.

2012 is almost over & there is one important thing I've learned: Don't sweat the small stuff. You need to stop & smell the roses every once in a while....

Tonight, along with your prayers- just add one small sentence & add myself & my family to the end. And I will do the same for you.

THE BEST IS YET TO BE...

Friday, June 22, 2012

Last One Picked On The DodgeBall Team

Have you ever been the last person picked on a team in gym class? Or your best friend overlooked you as a bridesmaid? OR did your friends "forget" to call you on a Saturday night to go out?

I've been moved to a different department at work because of their "reorganization". Not only did I discover the receptionist there is my PSYCHO ex's mother's best friend. But, I joined a "group" that wasn't willing to accept any new "members." Instead of being the last person picked on the dodge ball team, this team decided to go one man short, because I wasn't welcome on the team. I feel like such an outsider. I've eaten lunch at my desk solo and even eaten in my car! I feel so unwelcome.

I survived this week, as much as I thought I wouldn't. But, I know one thing...I will NEVER, EVER make someone feel the way I've felt this week. I will welcome anyone to my team. I will go above and beyond to make others feel appreciated and liked.

Now that it's Friday, I'm going to put it behind me and start next week fresh and new. I am strong and I don't need others approval to be happy. I create my own happiness. Their loss, right? I am optimistic and will not let others decide my destiny. Although, I've had to write positive quotes and thoughts and post them around my desk to remind me...I know my worth. So, here's to the weekend. I will enjoy it and not give these "mean girls" anymore of my time.

"Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what you know in your heart you were meant to do!"

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Im an Auntie again...x 2 + 1 = 3

Its been so long since Ive blogged, but I HAVE to blog about the new additions to my family. I am an aunt again to TWO adorable babies. Ive always had this thing with thinking newborns look like aliens till they are a few months old..but these babies are already cute and I love them!

Kellan Matthew (left) and Parker Adley (right)

I waited till they were a month old to visit b.c I have been sick the last few weekends. They are already developing their own personalities. Kellan is calm and laid back. Parker is a little high maintenance and louder. Their sister, my first niece Riley, loves them so much. I try to make sure I pay more attention to her, b.c trust me...I know what its like to be ignored for your other sibling(s). :)


Holding Kellan all day made me realize that I could really do this someday. Of course, I have a little ways to go. I want to graduate school in May, get established and settled in more with my job, move into a bigger place, and find Josh a more stable job. But, after that...I could do it. I want to do that. The love between you and a child feels so great. I want to feel that someday with a child of my very own.  I cant wait to feel that. Just another thing to look forward to. THE BEST TO YET TO COME!




Friday, May 4, 2012

Yeah for Summer!

The Spring '12 semester is officially over! Thank goodness. I got my grades back as well. 3 A's and 1 B. All that stood between me and a 4.0 is .23. That will haunt me for the rest of my life I think. I should feel more proud of myself, right? I mean, I went through a lot this semester. I had a health scare, my dad had a health scare, and I went through a bit of depression. I had a lot on my mind, so I should be proud of myself. I've come a long way.

I've only got two.more.semesters. I cant believe it! I was even tossing the idea around of going for my Bachelor's at WKU-O. But, I think I will take a little time off before starting that. I will have all 3 associate's under my belt. That has to count for something, right?

I am still loving my job, but I think some big changes are coming. I applied for a job in a new position, but same department. My supervisor actually recommended me for the position. Im not going to get my hopes up. I wont be floating near as much, which has its advantages and disadvantages. I am just going to see where things take me and where I end up.

Now that I have some free time, I am going to start working on myself again. I have some health issues that have been weighing heavy on me, but its not excuse. I just have to work harder. I have a goal in mind and I've hit it once, I can hit it again! I have to get in shape. I am sick of feeling this way. It'll be my graduation present to myself.

All in all, things are great right now. (knocking on wood) I am excited to get this summer started! I have so much I want to do and I can't wait to get started!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Patience IS a virtue!

I never really understood that expression. "Patience is a virtue." I think I finally got it. Well, 3/4 understand it. It means having the ability to wait for something without getting angry or upset. 3/4 of me has the ability to wait, but 1/3 of me didn't do it without getting upset or angry.

Just when you think nothing good can happen and no doors will be opening anytime soon...it happens. I gave up a good job to enter into the RAD program. I liked the atmosphere I was in, the people I met, the pay was good, the insurance was good, but in order for me to follow my dreams...I had no other choice but to quit. Quickly I found out, I had made the wrong choice...sort of. I'm glad I tried it and I'm glad I found out it just wasn't something I could do. So, before I decided to "take time off to regroup", I quickly changed majors and hit the job hunting HARD.

According to my Excel spreadsheet, I applied to 253 jobs. I went on 6 interviews and landed none of them. I started to think there was something wrong with me. On an ordinary day, after not applying to any jobs for a week, I got a call. It was for an interview at the very place I have been trying to get on at since I was 19 years old. My major has always been medical. So essentially, I have been trying to get on at the hospital. I knew once I got my foot in the door there, the possibilities were endless.

I couldn't sleep the night before. I honestly did the #1 no-no of interviewing. I psyched myself out. I honestly thought there was no way I'd get the job. Well...I was wrong. (which doesn't happen often as you know, lol). I got the job!!!! I got my foot in the door. Its been 2 weeks and I have met so many great people already and cant wait to see where this leads.

I'm excited. I've worked so hard to get here. I know that this will only bring good to my life and hopefully it will level everything else out. It only took me 8 years to get on there...that is some patience! Now, I wonder how long it will take to get married? At least now I truly do know..."PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE". It doesn't have a time limit, a give up date, and its not a lie. It's very true. Just ask me! :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

He loves me...he loves me not....he loves me...

Well, its that time of year again. For some reason I've always disliked Valentines Day. Its the time of year where women get disappointed if they don't get engaged, don't get roses delivered to work to show off to their co-workers, if their significant other forgets about it all together. I've always had my string of back luck with this holiday. My last boyfriend actually went to jail on both years we were together for it & I spent the whole day getting him out. (real winner, I know!) I think the reason why I sulk around this day has been because it brings me bad luck or maybe I pretend I don't like it, so I wont be disappointed. I don't know.
Yesterday I was sulking all day because Josh had to work the entire day and didn't get home until after I was in bed. And I knew he had to work all day today..so I basically thought he forgot it was Valentines Day. It's not that I expected some big extravagant present from him. I didn't think a horse & carriage would be outside waiting to whisk me away on a hot romantic date. I just wanted him to remember, ya know? He does things for me everyday to show me he loves me, but I just wanted him to go the extra mile to show me today. I wanted him to just spend some quality time with me. I have been having a rough time lately and I just wanted a "good day". I wanted him to bring me outta my "funk".
After going to bed solo last night, I woke up thinking, "Lets just get this day over with." The bedroom door was shut, so I knew Josh slept on the couch last night, trying not to wake me up when he got home. I opened the door...and there it was... Rose petals covered the hallway, doorway, living room, kitchen..they were everywhere!!
He hung a huge sign up saying, "Happy Valentines Day!".
He got me one single rose..not an ordinary red one. But a multi colored, orange one. He picked it out because he knew orange was my favorite color. I normally tell him, "Don't get me flowers...they'll just die." Hoping that maybe one day he'll do it anyway. That's why he got me just one. He said, "I know roses die, but this rose means..you're the only ONE for me." *heart melts* I mean really!?*
That would have been plenty for me. I was already amazed. But no....he put together an assortment of treats for me. He bought me candy, picked out 4 colors of nail polish I've been wanting(but haven't had the money to spend on it), Breaking Dawn DVD (he knew I had been wanting since it came out!), a candle, UK Valentines Day pajamas, and my favorite season of Grey's Anatomy. Not your ordinary gifts...but it's the meaning behind them that's so great. Best of all...he gets me this card..that talks about how people who have been together a long time can get lost in every day things and forget to say 'i love you' or show their feelings every once in a while, it talks about how sometimes he doesn't always show it or has an unusually way of showing it.... He wrote on the card such a special message pouring out his heart to me.
I didn't get proposed to..(after 5 YEARS none the less), my co-workers didn't get to see an expensive bouquet of roses on my desk, there was no fancy romantic dinner...just the little things. That's all I care about. He does love me. He truly does. He wanted to show me that too. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better man in my life and times like this are the reason we're still together.